Crabby

I have a horrible immune system...I don't know why. I never use to get sick and now these last 4-5 years I feel like I am sick ALL the time. It has been about 6 months since I was on my death bed sick...H1N1 complicated with asthma made for a rough case of pneumonia. I didn't leave my house for a week straight and was home from work and school for 12 days! I do not ever want to get that sick again. I am fighting something though...horrible stuffed up head, sneezing, coughing, aching, and boy am I crabby....I have little patience when I don't feel well. I just want to stay in bed but lets be real - that is not an option. People getting in the elevator to go up/down one floor and chewing their gum loud and sloppily is sending me over the edge today...well wait the elevator and gum things that drives me crazy on normal days! Enough complaining.

I have been crazy busy at both jobs the last week. Little L had her 7th b-day party on Saturday and I worked all day Sunday. I was hurting a lot the last few days. Saturday night I was in so much pain I got less than 5 hours of sleep and I literally woke up every hour! Last night I actually slept till 3AM (starting at midnight) before waking up....HUGE progress! Today is better though - OTC pills are working today which is always good!

I have been slacking on the cardio...mostly because I am so busy and when I have the time to do it I hurt or I just took pain meds that make me dizzy - not an awesome idea to do cardio when drugged and dizzy I found out.

Food - during a work week I usually eat 3 meals. I say usually because if my day starts at 7AM I won't eat until lunch time. On weekends I usually eat 1 or 2 meals. I used to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks EVERY day. It was difficult to build up to eating that much and now I feel like all that progress is slipping away. I don't want to eat...I don't really want to do anything...I don't want to fight anymore. I want to be done so I can move on. I don't want to feel horrible and hide feeling horrible from people. I don't want to be afraid to leave my purse somewhere because I don't want to be far from pain relief. I want to go back to eating, working out, and being with people I love - I want to be happy again and enjoy life...I just don't know how to get there or when I will get there. I miss laughing during my workouts and being proud of my accomplishments. I miss getting excited about carving out time in my day for my workouts. Workouts have become work and stopped being a fun exercise - I just don't know when it happened or how to get fun exercise back in my life.